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Master in the Making

"Possibly the Most Interesting Woman in the World"

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Fears & Limiting Beliefs

This is my first blog post ever! I don’t read blogs on a regular basis, but in searching the interest perhaps I have read more than a few. Here it goes…

    We all have fears and limiting beliefs. Mental blocks if you will. All of these are connected to our ego. I have a fear of public speaking like most of the people in this world. Beyond that I have just been unsure how my message will be received. Rejection and controversy. No matter what there will be naysayers and hecklers in this world - you can count on that! You know what? I am not going to die in any part of it!!! I need to speak my truth and live my truth above what others may think, say or do. Period!

    In the past few months I have fought with myself over these fears. My higher self has been trying to beat my ego into submission. It’s really ridiculous for me to have these fears, as I am writing my memoirs and exposing a lot of personal, sensitive and most intimate parts of myself with the whole wide world. Why wouldn’t I also be able to write a blog? A blog is just to share some of my thoughts and knowledge, right?

    The content of my memoirs includes a lot of stuff that the world would rather turn a blind eye to and pretend that it doesn’t exist. Like abuse and mortality. My beliefs and practices such as energy healing and the use of crystals and oils to heal may be hard for some to believe. I’m okay with that now. I feel that God has been calling me for a very long time. I know he has for as long as I can remember. I was never sure what was it that he wanted from me until now. I know that I still don’t know what else may be asked of me in the future.

    If you think about it, it’s a really intimidating position to be called by God to do something. This has fucked with my head a bit. I’m not a Prophet, a Saint or a Guru. I don’t want to be or aspire to be any one of those things. I’m not perfect or holy in any sense, obviously. (By the way. I enjoy verbal expression via cussing - it feels good to cuss. You have been warned.) I don’t feel like I’ve been handed the ten commandments like Moses, but I have a message I am suppose to share with the world. I am who I am - I’m a short plump quirky middle aged woman. Why me? I am a nobody really. I don’t feel that I am special or above average than the next person. I’m not a scholar and nor do I hold the answers to the universe. Why is my story so important to God that he wants me to share it?

    I know I have a lot of different messages to share in writing my memoirs. I am not just being called by God to write “Master in the Making”. I am also being called to become a spiritual healer and do more things for myself that will make me happy. And in all of what I just mentioned - I have to write a blog, because in this day and age that is what one does to get publicity for their book.

    I have always been and have wanted to continue to be that quiet little wallflower that nobody noticed. Unfortunately, I am unable to continue that path. The world has to hear my voice. I know that a lot of people that will read my book, will see themselves in my writing and feel connected to me - like I have known them all their lives.

    This Marvel’s Spiderman quote always crosses my mind “With Great Power Comes Great Responsibility”. I love Spiderman, but I feel more connected to Marvel Comic Superhero Dr. Strange. If you are unfamiliar with Dr. Strange (watch the movie). He is a neurosurgeon that lost the ability to perform surgery because there was something wrong with his hands. He finds this guy that had gone to Tibet that had been healed from severe injuries. Dr. Strange is seeking healing for his hands. He goes to Tibet to meet a Master Teacher where he is asked to believe the unbelievable. He questions everything that his Master is trying to teach him and rejects what the Master says until he proves and believes it for himself. Dr. Strange is also challenged with the dilemma between helping himself heal and return to life he knew or to be healed and to help all of humanity.

    To be continued…...

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